Nightmare

I feel I should blog about this, I wasn't going to, I was just going to keep to emails to keep people informed but this blog is sort of a diary, story of our lives.  I am an open book, my husband is more reserved, but here we go.  Someday my kids will read these posts (I plan to print my blog in a book) and know HOW MUCH WE LOVE THEM:

One of our worst nightmare's in adoption just happened....(and those of you who know us well, know that we have had a few nightmare's in our adoption journey)

Got a call today from our lawyer.....after ALL this time the birth-father says he doesn't want to sign away his rights.  At this point that is ALL I KNOW.  As to what is next I'm not 100% clear.  

WE ARE GOING TO FIGHT FOR CARTER.

I am still in shock and upset (obviously).  I'm not sure why adoption and having kids has to be so hard for us.  I know God always has a plan, but I am human and honestly I am questioning this plan BIG TIME.    

WE ARE GOING TO FIGHT FOR CARTER.

When we took custody of him we knew the papers weren't signed, BUT we were under the mind frame that if we had to give him back it would be with-in the first 2 weeks.  IT NEVER CROSSED OUR MINDS that 3 months later this would happen.  This never should have been dragged out this long and birth-father in my opinion had plenty of opportunities to step up to the plate and he didn't.  

WE ARE GOING TO FIGHT FOR CARTER.

I told our lawyer this has to be her TOP priority and this needs to be figured out NOW.  

WE ARE GOING TO FIGHT FOR CARTER.

We love Carter SO MUCH and can't imagine our family with-out him....I am NOT giving him up.  I am his Mother.  Carter has been physically and emotionally attached to me for 3 months.  I thank God for his birth-mother's decision every single day.  I will fight for my kids.  Mama-bear is gonna come out so beware!  Carter not being in our family IS NOT AN OPTION that I am willing to accept.

WE ARE GOING TO FIGHT FOR CARTER.

Wish this was a happy happy joy joy post... but it is not....they can't ALL be happy. This is life.

My eyes are sore and red b/c I think I've been crying since noon.

What can you do?  JUST PRAY AT THIS POINT.

JUST PRAY HARD